Emotional Affairs, Breaking Free From the Destructive Behavior

Published: 07th September 2009
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Conflict may erupt at any time in a marriage or relationship. Learning to understand the complications that may lead to the desrtructive behaviors of an emotional affair may be difficult to do.

Relationships and marriages are complicated ventures. Over time they become more so with career changes, schedule conflicts, financial concerns and health problems. A destructive behavior that may stem from the stress is one partner engaging in an emotional affair.

The primary reason an emotional affair is such a destructive behavior is that the offending party may not realize the damage being done until it is too late. Emotional affairs typically begin simply as friends due to work environments or casual acquaintances in a place each person frequents.

Certainly working together or regularly seeing someone in social situations is innocent enough, there in lies the danger. Most people that become entangled in the destructive behavior of an emotional affair never had any intention of cheating and may not even think they are. Justifying the behavior and living in denial is common as there is the simple explanation of working with the person or just happening to run in to the other person.

As innocent as the potentially destructive behavior may seem at some point the innocent becomes the full blown emotional affair with the potential to rock the still intact marriage or relationship. Chance meetings become more contrived and planned, work schedules, break times and even days off may begin to coincide. Over time it becomes easier to overlap lives and continue the same justifications for the behavior.

If you are the individual finding yourself having an emotional affair there is a simple litmus test to gauge the appropriateness of your actions. If your spouse or partner were to witness your destructive behavior first hand how would they view your actions? If they would not appreciate the situation then it's probably wrong.

If you are the person being hurt by an emotional affair keep in mind that the affair is not your fault! People must make a choice to have an affair. That wasn't your choice.


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